After all, why not? Our grand-grand parents did it and look how fine they turned out! There's nothing in a man (or a woman) that an occasional swim in the pond won't wash off. Well, if you are too picky use a bowl of cold water and a bar of soap!

Why? To prevent global warming - you stupid!

StopGlobalWarming.org has a nice list (with pictures) of things YOU can do to prevent CO2 emissions. While containing some reasonable recommendations such as winter-proofing your home or using energy-efficient light bulbs it also recommends to ... "Take Shorter Showers"

I propose to take these recommendations one step further with my

Stop Global Warming - Go Live in A Cage! - list:

Take Shorter Showers. Why waste any water at all? Don't wash and as a bonus you will acquire that unforgettable sexy appeal, that our fore-mothers loved in our fore-farthers.

Adjust Your Thermostat. Set it to something like 50F and soon you will grow back that nice fur coating that other mammals still continue to enjoy.

Use a Push Mower. No wait! Don't mow! No, don't buy a house! Live in an apartment with no lawn with windows overlooking a brick wall. No, live in a cage - no lawn there (for sure)!

Put on a Sweater. Na-a-a-h ... You'll be growing, your own silky fur in no time. Better trim it and knit a sweater out of it and sell it to that dumb-ass polluter driving an SUV.

Air Dry Your Clothes. How very convenient, don't you agree? People in other parts of the world already do it, so can you. No... that's not because they are poor and can't afford a civilized laundry facility, it's because they care for the environment!

Follow these easy unobtrusive steps to make our planet a better place to live!